Done with exams!! But

Just a little over 24 hours since I got done with my final exams but I am not as relieved as I was expecting. Setting up my apartment, completing a long trail of paperwork, and much more is on my plate making it harder and harder for me to just kick back and relax. I should learn to stay calm and relaxed on a daily basis regardless of daily tensions and worries. I don't want to yell at my baby while she makes innocent baby mistakes because I am pissed off on some other issue. I need to become a dependable and persistent parent all together. But I don't know how to achieve that. I have been in charge of my emotions and worries for a long time but recently, with everything happening with me and around me, I am losing my grip again. I feel on the edge more often. Small jokes and comments here and there irritate me and I feel insufficient many times a day. I feel like I am in some kind of race with life trying to get things done before I run out of time. It seems like I never have enough time and I get tired easily. On top of it all, I don't have a hobby or passion for something to pursue and do daily. I don't have friends to hang out with either. I am in a survival mode, trying to get the crucial things like being a mother and being a housewife done. I don't know what to do for ME, and when I treat myself with something, like a new shirt or an hour of relaxation, I feel guilty. I feel I should have saved the money or used my time doing something productive than just surfing the net or reading a fun book. Stupid things and unreasonable people get to me and irritate me in spite of my efforts trying to ignore them. anyways, I think I am stressed out and now that I have fewer things to do, I should be able to relax a little and get back on track.

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