From Afghanistan to America, crossroads of life

I already had my rebound crash after the divorce. I developed a fantasy crash on this Indian TV actor the beginning of the week and it is wearing off. lol..... i have been kinda short tempered and impatient the last couple days for unknown reasons. Hopefully, my attitude will improve next week. Aarya has been mentioning her dad more the last couple days. It doesn't upset me like before. I feel so much better about my decision everyday.

I told my daughter that she shouldn't expect her father to return and shouldn't wait for us to live together again. She immediately started crying and kept asking why. I tried to reassure her that we are still her parents and still love her a lot no matter what. It was a short and painful conversation. I am sure she will continue to think about it and ask questions about it. It seems that I won't be able to totally protect her from negative emotions. I can only offer support and sympathy.

It is said that fear is one of the primal feelings of human being. I chose to live a single mother's life in the face of all my fears. I was afraid out of my mind and soul. But I decided to divorce him in the face of fear. Now, I am angry. Angry for having been married to such a low life, for letting him get to my head the past years and even more angry for having to deal with him the rest of my life. I wish I could just cut him out of my life but can't. It makes me angry that I have to face him and have any contact with him and have to be civil to him because of my daughter. What to do with this anger? I don't want to be angry the rest of my life, or be miserable and consumed by this anger. I read in an article on www.tinybuddah.com that your life will be governed by what you are focusing on. I want to focus on positive things, on my blessings but I can't. I am just angry at him. Maybe I am more angry because his words, accusations and manipulations still have some ki