Survival
I have mentioned this in my previous entry that I am in a survival mode all the time. for the last ten years or so, I have never felt safe, at home, and settled down. I went to school, got my degree, got Married, had a Baby and went from being a woman to a mother and a wife. Yet I never felt settled down in my own home, my own skin. I feel as if something is missing in my life, like I am waiting for sth big to happen and fill the hole in my life. Maybe, it is because I don't have the fire and the passion for life? I used to be such a lively girl. I would joke, play, have fun, make friends and inspire people around me. I had so much life and energy and enthusiasm in me. I don't know how and when I lost all that. Yes I still laugh, maybe couple times a month? (in spite of constant attempts of my husband to cheer me up). Yes I have a decent life and I am working toward a much better life. But, again, passion is missing. I don't get excited by little miracles of life on a dail