From Afghanistan to America, crossroads of life

Past weekend was OK. Saturday night, we all went out for dinner, then few of us tried to "go out" for late night fun. Of course we had wrong expectations by taking two minors with us. We will try Thursday night without minors. I want to see what all the hype is about, going to night clubs, getting drunk and being careless. Sunday, we all went out shopping for my daughter's birthday party. I and Zohal worked out in the evening and I finally put my baby to sleep around 1am. That has to change!!! I caught myself thinking about him early morning. That is why I said " same times". During the last 4 years of my life, I have done this a lot. He has been on my mind day and night. That needs to stop. If I act the same way as I did for the last 4 years, that means I haven't learned a damn thing in the last years. If you don't learn anything for years, then check your pulse, you might be dead. Time for big time, real change. How can I stop being so damn emotional

I hate it when I am absent for so long. I wanted this blog to be a weekly or biweekly entry. Oh well, moving on. August and September were so stressful and  hectic for me since I moved to IN with my family. Ahsan was left behind in MN waiting for me to land a full time job here before he come and join us. Let's hope for the best. The more time I spend around my mother, the more I see how much I am like her in how I feel about things and how I analyze and react to people and things. I love my mother, but I don't want to be exactly like her. I want to be confident, COOL, sexy, modern, undrestanding, etc. And I am none of those things all the way, all the time. I have to admit, I see why Ahsan would have complained about few flaws and shortcomings of mine. Besides, my moodiness directly affects my baby and now she is stressed, moody and easily angered. I really need to change for better, for myself, my baby and my family. Ok blog, now you are going to be my tool to stay on trac