Zen on the Horizon

Still haven't accomplished my peaceful state of mind, but I am making progress. I plan on going jogging or spending some time in the gym and really focus on studying. The weather is still cold, so I need to also take my princess somewhere for fun, mall or grandma's house or sth. What I really want is to spend some time with my husband. Let's see if that happens:)
Every stage of life has its pleasures and trade offs. I enjoy being a student and learning. I want to spend as much time as possible studying and learning. The trade off is not having an income and the feeling of guilt. Guilt for not spending time with loved ones and missing on family time. I think the trade offs of being a  nursing student (of accelerated track program) have been stressing me out a little more than they should. When I talked to couples of my classmates with families, they shared the same feeling, the guilt of not being there with your family. Let's not forget not having any time for yourself and taking care of yourself. I have been told over and over that once the school is over and done with, my life will change for good. I am looking forward to that.
Yesterday, I started jotting down some of my preferences for my life, the lifestyle that I want to have. It took some stress off and put few things in perspective. I know I want a simple life, peaceful, honest and compassionate life with very supportive and nurturing relationships (marriage and parenting). I don't have many materialistic desires. My main preference is a peaceful life, no nags, no lies, no manipulation, lots of respect and compassion and lots and lots of smiles and laughs. The first thing for me to have in order to achieve my desired life, is my zen. The reason I want to jog or go to the gym today is to try to get my zen back.

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