took a shot at love.....

And it was a shot at the dark.
I gave up a life that was chosen for me in order to choose my own life. I thought I can do better than what I already had. I took a shot at love and I failed. Yes, I failed. It is so hard to admit and accept that you fail. There is the regret of waste of your life and time, the pain of bad memories, the fear of unknown ahead of you and the tough journey of healing and moving on. I have been going over and over the reasons and explanations of how and why. But no true answer comes out of this mind chaos. Yes, mind chaos. There are so many things popping in my head right now, from previous bad memories, fights, efforts, compromises, to how everything has turned out and how it will worsen in the future. I am trying to get some kind of closure and start healing. Maybe it is too soon to do that. I need a lot of patience and a lot of emotional strength to get through. I need all the support I can get. I also had distanced myself from GOD and my faith. I am returning to the him and asking him for peace.

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