From Afghanistan to America, crossroads of life

I am reading couple books on marriage and relationships, which I should have read years ago. Apparently, we have made all the mistakes by the book, lol. We are still here, so that is a great chance to patch things up and get it right from now on. That includes changing old habits, changing your expectations and taming your emotions. If only it was done as easily as listing it. Hahahaha Small steps. Small steps lead to big changes, over time. The trick is being consistent. Before, I failed to recognize the fault, now I recognize it right before, during or shortly after committing it, lol. The next step is to stop it before happening and then being more rational about issues so I don't get the itch. Just a reminder that I have made it to the last step a few times in different issues. I just need to be consistent and stop blaming myself for little mishaps. I am not at fault all the time. I am just vulnerable to guilt trips. I need to shake off the urge to keep everyone happy and sat...

It took me over 5 years to realize what real life love is and I am still trying to adjust my day to day attitude and behavior according to that. Old habits die hard. I love my husband and lately, I can see how he is trying and adjusting to me and my emotional moodiness. He is doing his part, I should do mine. He needs my support and companionship more than before. And I need to be there for him in a strong and selfless manner. It is much harder than being said. To change habits while living the same challenges everyday, it takes more time, many fall backs and many attempts to make the permanent change. I keep falling back into the old circle of behavior, then I realize I should have behaved differently and then I promise myself it will be different next time and next time, I don't carry out my promise or I fail to be consistent. In afghanistan, many factors contributed to women having a much simpler marriage. They simply accepted the type of behavior from their husbands that are...

Alright! It is a bittersweet feeling. He is going overseas for work and I will be here. I am glad he will be safer than lots of other people who risk their lives for work and a good income overseas. I think he will have lots of fun there as well, which is good. I will be here, working and hoping to start school soon and raising my little princess. I am glad I have her or I might not have survived this far in life. I should be happy cause it is more like being single again but even better cause I have aarya. Still, it feels as if something is missing. As my 2011 resolution, I want to dedicate more time to myself, doing what I like and enjoying life more (compared to previous years). It will require more work and effort since I don't have companion/company, but I have had enough of excuses and reasons. Less talk, more work. I am not liking this cold weather. But there are days when weather feels crisp clean, cold breeze makes wearing big coat fun, people rushing to get to destinat...